The Impact of Divorce on Your Kids
When couples file for a Colorado divorce, the primary topics of discussion center around finances and the allocation of parental responsibilities. Separating couples want to discuss:
· Separate Assets
· Joint Assets
· The Division of Property
· Parenting Time
· Decision Making
· And how to take care of the kids during this challenging time.
Divorcing couples with children should strive to work with their family law attorneys to ensure that their mutual goal is to minimize the impact of their separation on the children they share.
Minimize Your Children’s Suffering
When a couple separates, the chasm between them can create serious challenges for their children. Life as your children once knew it is over, and they must learn to adjust to a new way of being. As difficult as this transition is for the couple who is divorcing, their children have an even harder time because they have no control over the matter. But as parents, you can work together and agree to do what it takes to minimize your children’s fear and uncertainty.
Protect Your Kids
The most important way to protect your children is to keep them out of your line of fire. Do not allow them to become the collateral damage of your conflict. While you and your children will be confronted with the reality of the family’s transition on a daily basis, it is important to ensure that they are protected from the negativity of your divorce.
Your conversations with your co-parent should be private. Your children should not be privy to your discussions with your Colorado family law attorney. And your children should not be within earshot when you are venting your frustrations to your friends and family about your children’s other parent. The details of your separation and the private reasons for your divorce should not be a topic of conversation that you share with your kids.
Do Not Use Your Children as “Go-Betweens”
Do not use your children to convey messages to their other parent. Your children should not have to be a position where they must communicate for you. It is important that your kids have a healthy and happy relationship with their other parent, and if they become your messenger, this places them in a very awkward position. Let your kids be kids and do not ask them to take sides. It is not in their best interests. Rather than asking your children to communicate with your co-parent for you, arrange another and more reliable method of communication that you can use to discuss parenting matters with your child’s other parent. If you need to discuss changes to your parenting plan, or if you have concerns about your child’s behavior, or you need to talk about upcoming vacation plans, or you want to discuss issues regarding their education,
· Call your co-parent on the phone
· Set up an in-person meeting
· Send a text
· Or consider using a professional to communicate on your behalf.
Do not ask your children to communicate for you. This puts them in the position of having to choose sides.
Mediation Vs. Litigation
When you file for a Colorado divorce, you have the choice to litigate or mediate. While litigation is inherently adversarial, mediation can allow you the opportunity to work together without going to court. While litigation can create ongoing conflict, the process of mediation can help you to resolve your issues in a collaborative manner. Mediation is an alternative form of dispute resolution that can help to minimize conflict between you and your co-parent and establish the foundation for positive co-parenting. Mediating your divorce can also help you to create a more civil and interactive co-parenting relationship with your co-parent. Choosing not to litigate can help you to interact with your child’s other parent in a unified manner that can reduce the impact of your divorce on your children.
Call Family Law Attorney Elissa Bercovitz
Call domestic relations lawyer Elissa Bercovitz, at the Bercovitz Law Firm:
303 803 1678