Working with Your Co-Parent to Share the Holidays
When families have separated households due to a Colorado divorce, the holidays can present unique challenges. But what is important to remember, is although the details of how to share the holidays can be difficult, parents should simply be more mindful of their children’s emotional needs during this time. It is important to remember that kids are generally very confused by the families separation, and it is important for their parents to be strong for them.
The holidays are the time that divorced parents have the unique opportunity to create new and cherished memories for the children they share. Just because you are no longer living under the same roof, it doesn’t mean that you can stop being a family. The holidays should be a joyful time, and you and your co-parent must work very hard to create experiences and traditions that may not be exactly what you are all are used to, but you can still create a holiday experience for your kids that is filled with love and joy.
Too often children of divorce find themselves witness to their divorce parents ongoing conflict and they become torn between the two people they love the most. Work with your co-parent this holiday season to protect your kids from the torment of your separation. Take the high road, and strive to work with your former spouse to protect your children. Just because the two of you are no longer together, does not mean that your children should suffer.
Yes, sharing the holidays after a separation can be difficult for everyone involved, but it is possible if you have the right mindset. Focus on working together and make the best of it. If you are lucky, you have already have a court-ordered parenting schedule that clearly defines the days you are with your children and pick up and drop off times are in place. If you do not have a parenting schedule, work with your attorney to create one that works for you, your former partner, and your children. If you can collaborate and create a workable parenting schedule, you will have a plan that is far better than having the court choose one for you. Despite your differences, if you work together, you can devise a plan that is far more likely to meet your needs, and the needs of your children, that if you leave the decision up to a judge who only has a broad and general overview of your unique circumstances.
So, this holiday season, if your children are dividing their holidays between you and your co-parent, that really might be the best case scenario for your kids. The worst case scenario would be that they cannot see the other parent at all. Remember that your kids needs both of their parents and having some time with each parent during the holidays is as good as it gets for children of divorce.
Even though you may feel that this is not an ideal situation for you, keep in mind that the holidays represent a season of giving. So take a deep breath and focus on how important it is to give your children the best of what you have to give. Let them be children, let them enjoy the magic of the season, and let them love you and love their other parent. Don’t allow your divorce to create a stressful environment, but instead, be strong for your kids and allow them to be present in the moment of the holiday spirit. Having a divided family is difficult for children, and the deep emotional pain they feel because of their parents’ separation is confusing. Your children deserve to enjoy the holidays with both parents, so it is important to do your part to be cooperative with your co-parent and let your kids enjoy a dual experience. Your children will never complain that they have to celebrate every holiday twice. If you choose to look on the bright side, you and children can fully enjoy the time you have together.
If you are currently separated and are considering a Colorado divorce or are recently divorced, it is important to focus on what is best for your children. Choose happiness, choose love and allow the holidays to be a joyful time for you and for your kids
Elissa Bercovitz has spent many years working with hundreds of individuals and their families who are struggling with the consequences associated with divorce and separation. She has helped them understand and navigate the legal processes associated with divorce and custody matters, and always seeks to ensure that her clients secure a healthy future. Ms. Bercovitz offers a free consultation to those seeking family law representation and will discuss your legal matter with you and help you to fully understand your rights and options according to Colorado law.
Many of the large firms downtown and in the Denver Metro area hire attorneys who have little or no experience in domestic relations law, and those who are not yet familiar with Colorado law, the courts, the judges and magistrates, or the lawyers on the other side. Elissa Bercovitz is a highly respected family law attorney with almost 20 years of consistent experience in domestic relations law in the State of Colorado. She provides her clients with the experience they need to obtain the results they want. For more information about divorce and the allocation of parental responsibilities this holiday season, contact Elissa Bercovitz at 303-803-1678.