Understanding the Challenges Ahead
When you are going through a divorce, you are also experiencing the loss of life as you once knew it and are consciously and unconsciously working to create a new and better life. As you work toward a healthier and happier future, it is important to know that the trepidation you feel is a natural part of the transitional phase. During this time, it is important to clearly identify the fact that although this is all very difficult, you will get through your Colorado legal separation and/or divorce and you will find happiness and wholeness again.
Beginning the Process of Separation
As you begin the phase of legal separation and/or divorce, it is important to know that you will likely experience feelings of regret and grief. This may also be followed by periods of worry and anger. While these feelings are often difficult to face, it is important to honor your emotional state and know that you will regain your composure and your strength over time.
Finding the Support You Need
During the divorce process, it is important to reach out to those in your life who can give you a strong sense of support and community and be with people who will help you to heal. Know that going through the process of dissolving your marriage is difficult on a myriad of levels, but there are many things you can do to get through it in a healthy manner.
Understand that the stress you are experiencing now is normal and know that you may not be as productive right now. Give yourself a break, slow down, and understand that it will take you some time to heal and regain your inner balance.
Taking Care of Yourself
The process of divorce can take a toll on your health and sense of well-being, so it is important to consciously eliminate some of the unnecessary stress in your life. Take control and reduce your stress in a healthy manner. Keep your body strong by exercising every day. If you cannot get to the gym or your yoga studio, take a walk, ride your bike, or work out to an online video.
Maintaining a Healthy Diet
Don't add to your stress by asking your body to process too much sugar, caffeine or alcohol. It is easy to start eating too much "comfort food" during periods of high stress but seek to stay as healthy as you can during the challenge of your divorce. Eat lots of fresh vegetables, fruit, and lean protein to keep your energy levels high. Eating processed food can make you feel sluggish, tired, and even depressed. Provide your body with the fuel it needs to stay energized and keep your mood elevated.
Sharing Your Feelings
Stay in close contact with your friends and family during this period of your life and consider investing in the professional services of a counselor to help you stay on course toward wholeness. Having a safe environment to talk about how you feel will assist you in the grieving process and help you to embrace your transformation into a new life. Talking about your feelings about the end of relationship with trusted friends, family members and/or a counselor can prevent you from internalizing your emotional pain. Sharing your emotions is an important part of the healing process and can help you let go of some of your suffering. The more you can identify and express your feelings, the faster you will begin to heal.
Take Time for Yourself
Begin to explore how you can start enjoying your own life again. Very often married people compromise their needs so much during a marriage that they let go of things that once gave them pleasure. Think about doing things that you used to enjoy doing on your own. Did you create art, go for long walks, take classes, or participate in team sports? You can also consider volunteering, getting involved in your community, and taking time you need to start enjoying things that you used to do on your own.
Taking Care of Your Kids
If you and your soon to be former spouse have young children, and you are also dealing with custody and the allocation of parental responsibility, here are some tips to help you to assist your children cope during the process of your divorce.
Reassure your children during the process and let them know that even though there are changes ahead, you will face them together and everything is going to be ok. Also make sure that they understand that your divorce is not their fault. But most importantly, listen to their concerns, reassure them, and let them know that you are there for them and they can rely on you and your support.
Work to create balance and stability in your home by keeping your families daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible. Normalcy will help your children feel safe, so they can more effectively cope with the transition.
Seek to protect your children by avoiding arguments with their other parent and do not speak in a disparaging manner about your ex in front of the children you share. Do not use your children as a go-between to send messages to their other parent, and don't place them in a position where they feel compelled take sides.
Regaining Your Inner Balance
Even if you are feeling out of balance during this phase of your life, it is important to remember that you can and will regain your equilibrium. Take care of yourself but remember the importance of drawing upon your most trusted resources for the additional support you need to get through this period of your life. It is vital to have a strong and supportive community during this time of your life and reaching out to your friends, family, therapist, spiritual center, and community will help you to rediscover your footing so can begin to create a new and better life.
Working with Your Colorado Domestic Relations Lawyer
Elissa Bercovitz with the Bercovitz Law Firm is a highly experienced and compassionate domestic relations attorney and a mediator. In addition to helping you with your divorce, she is happy to assist you in obtaining the additional professional help you need. If you need to contact a therapist to address your own healing process or need the assistance of a counselor to help your children get through your divorce, she can offer you the names and contact information for professionals who can help.
Elissa offers a free consultation to those with Colorado family law matters and can assist you with divorce, legal separation, custody and the allocation of parental responsibility. She also has experience with post decree matters, paternity, step-parent adoption and relocation issues. Elissa handles family law cases in counties throughout the Denver metro area and is very familiar with the different courts, judges, magistrates, and has worked closely with many of Denver's top litigators and mediators. It is important for clients with family law issues to hire a lawyer who is experienced and has practiced family law in the State of Colorado. Many of Colorado's largest family law firms hire lawyers who are new to the practice area of family law, or lawyers who are new to the State of Colorado, or attorneys who have just graduated from law school. Hire a lawyer who has many years of experience in Colorado family law and who has the necessary years of experience to assist you in the manner you deserve. Call Elissa Bercovitz at the Bercovitz Law Firm.